Phantasies
by Jacalyn Hyde
Summary: Two-shot: Rodolphus and Bellatrix before they were married: their thoughts on love, sex, dreams, and reality. Rated for angst and smut including violence and masochism.
1. Chapter 1

Rodolphus

Bellatrix and I are lying half-naked on a king size bed in the Room of Requirement. She's wearing only a bra and her school uniform skirt and I'm wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. The only thing more arousing than the thrill of almost being caught sneaking in here is the fact that the most beautiful girl in the entire world is straddling me right now and kissing every part of my body she can access.

She whispers my name a few times between quick, wet kisses along my neck and shoulders. _Merlin, I want her!_ But, now that I think about it, I already have her. For a moment, for this moment, she's mine. It's my name she's saying, no one else's.

It won't always be this way though. Which is why I'm savoring this moment, taking in every detail. Because, as soon as we finish here, she'll go back to abusing me, alternatively mocking me and pretending that I don't exist. Until she decides she wants to "reward" me again, that is.

And I don't care, because I'm addicted to her and not just sexually. I'll take whatever she gives me and make it last as long as possible and then hungrily await my next fix. _Does she know how much I love her?_ Her torture would have killed me long ago if it wasn't for that love.

Smirking at the expression of desire on my face, Bellatrix repositions herself, deliberately dangling her cleavage in my face. She likes this. This torturously slow foreplay, making me nervous, making me sweat, making me beg her. She likes controlling me and I like her controlling me. I do... Well, I'm trying to _convince_ myself I do.

Quietly, I say her name aloud, somehow making it sound casual and not desperate. She places an oddly gentle kiss on my lips and moves back to her original position. "Let's play a game," she flashes me the smile I can't resist. "It's called 'Bellatrix has control.'"

Most of her games have more imaginative names than that. I tell her it isn't a game, it's an unquestionably true statement. She traces one of her sharp fingernails down my cheek and says she wishes all of her toys were as easy as I am. I respond saying I wish she wouldn't mention her other toys when she's with me. I'd tell her that I hate being called easy or a toy, but that wouldn't do any good. I think she'd just laugh at me.

"How shall I reward you?" She asks with an overly-dramatic seductive tone. I want to tell her she doesn't owe me anything, but I'm feeling a little selfish right now. I've been doing all of her homework for the past month now, it's about time she pays me back somehow. And if this is how she wants to do it, then I have no complaints.

"Whatever you want to do," I answer, making a worthy effort at sounding calm.

"Why do you always make this so difficult, Rod," she pouts. "You're a _man_. There's only so many things you could want from a girl like me."

That's not true. Normally, I'm happy just being in her presence, with her having dinner with me or giving me even the briefest, most innocent kisses. _Normally_, anyway... For now though, it's just cruel of her to have built up all this desire in me with no apparent intention of satisfying it anytime soon. I can't say that though, she'd kill me. I can't think of anything to say that isn't completely pathetic, so I remain silent.

She smiles in her usual conspiratorial way, making me lie still in willing helplessness as she tugs off my last piece of clothing. She sits down on her knees beside me. Then she leans over, starting at my neck again and slowly kissing her way down my bare chest and licking up random drops of sweat as well.

With every kiss, lower each time, she's making it harder and harder for me to breathe properly. I can't help it, I let out a moan in the form of her name. I want her so much it hurts, and I don't just want her now, I _need_ her.

"_Trixie!_" I groan.

She pauses, placing a warm kiss just above my navel then continues. She stops again after a few more seconds, sitting up to meet my eyes for a moment. Her face is flushed in excitement and her mouth is open, but it looks like there's something she wants to say first. "Rod," she whispers dreamily, "I love you so much."

And that's when I know it's a dream. I realized it before, but I'm pretty good at being in denial. There were other indications, like the fact that Bellatrix didn't object to me calling her Trixie, or the fact that she has never given me oral sex, and that I would never ask her to. I didn't think till now how amazing that would feel.

It's interesting, even in my dreams, even in my fantasies, I still let her torture me, I still want her to, I still love it when she does. _It would be funny if it wasn't so sad. _Of course, that fantasy would never happen. I don't care about that. But, her saying she loved me... I'd give anything for that part to be real.

I wake up sweating. I'm wearing the very same boxers she removed in the dream. Bellatrix is curled up next to me on our couch, wearing her same outfit from my dream plus her unbuttoned white school shirt. She's panting and I can see a few drops of sweat forming along her hairline. I kiss her forehead but decide not to wake her. Still, I can't help wondering what _she's_ dreaming about.


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N: If you think this should be M rated, I'll change it. Yes, Bella's chapter is WAY longer. Rod's was awkward for me, that's kind of why. Also, she had a lot more to say than he did. Hope you don't mind. Like it? Hate it? Please let me know. -Lia.)

Bellatrix

I'm writhing under my Lord's Cruciatus Curse and loving every second of that pain. He's putting more passion into the act than usual but I deserve it. I've pleased Him, killing all those muggles. I would have slaughtered a thousand more if I knew he'd reward me like _this_. I love pain. Watching it, feeling it, making people feel it.

But, because the Dark Lord is the one casting this curse on me now, it's intensifying to become a completely mind-blowing pleasure. It hurts like hell and it feels amazing. I scream in pain and shriek in delight. And He watches, amused.

"Oh, yes! Oh _fuck_ yes!" I exclaim between screams. It's incredible. "Oh, my lord, my master, yes! YES! Oh ye-" I break off suddenly as another burst of pain- even more powerful than before -overcomes me. I let out an intense blood-curdling scream.

I realize, those are the sort of things I'd scream during sex. Another wave of pain like that last one might send me over the edge. _Am I actually climaxing? _If my lungs weren't preoccupied forming screams, I might laugh wickedly at that thought. He hasn't even _touched_ me. His power is that amazing, He can just overwhelm me in that way. _Merlin! I love Him! _

Then, the single most intense pain I've ever felt in my entire life jolts through me. That gets two screams out of me. I have to pause to suck in more air and convert it into a passionate exclamation of pain and pleasure. _Interchangeable words, really. _

_Oh, yes! I'm close, so close I can hardly stand it. Just a little more..._

It stops. I feel like I've been given a beautiful gift and then had it snatched out of my hands. I let out a whimper of protest and I actually feel like I might cry. Being teased and denied like this feels like more of a punishment than a reward. But, of course, I'll take whatever He gives me and be grateful.

I sit up and murmur, "Thank you, my lord."

"Your scream, Bella," He says, slowly walking over to me and then bending over slightly to stroke my cheek. "It's beautiful. Do it again for me."

I nod, taking His hand off my cheek and kissing it. He allows me that contact for a moment before pulling away and taking a graceful step backward. Then He shouts my favorite incantation in His beautifully dark and haunting voice.

It doesn't take Him long to rebuild the pleasurable torment inside me. I scream constantly, making them loud and drawn-out for Him. I last about three minutes and then I'm back my original state. I look up at Him with pleading eyes. I just need one more intense pain, something, anything to-

"_Sectumsempta!_"

I scream at the unexpectedly wonderful sensation. A gash appears on the cheek He stroked earlier, but I scarcely notice that. I'm flying and watching fireworks and screaming. And screaming. And SCREAMING.

Finally, I collapse at His feet, panting and smiling. I shut my eyes and lie there for a minute or so before I recover enough to sit up again. "Thank you," is all I manage to say. I can't possibly put what I'm trying to communicate in words, but He knows. He's the one who taught me to appreciate the beauty of pain.

"Bella," He slides a finger along my injured cheek and licks some of the blood off it. Then He touches that finger to my lips, letting me sample the metallic taste of my own blood and also His skin- indescribable but intoxicating. I look at Him for permission before I take that long and thin finger in my mouth and caress it with my tongue.

"Bella," He repeats a minute later, taking His hand back. "I'm not finished with you yet." Instead of explaining further, He pulls me to my feet and apparates us to a large and dark bedroom I've never seen before.

He points wordlessly toward the king size four-poster bed. I nod enthusiastically and crawl onto it, lying down on my back, submissively, in the center._ He's actually going to have sex with me! If He can make me feel that amazing using just the Cruciatus Curse..._ I shudder in pleasant anticipation at the thought of what His actual touch could do to me.

With a flick of His wand, four ropes appear from no where. They capture my wrists and ankles, binding each of them to one of the four bedposts. I gasp, in surprise, not in fear. When I recover from that shock, I smile in excitement. _This must mean more pain. _

"Yes, Bella," He confirms. "You're right. More pain." He climbs on top of me and without warning, He mercilessly sinks His teeth into the side of my neck. He bites at that skin until it bleeds then licks the blood up with His serpentine tongue. I moan and cock my head to the side, allowing Him more access. He pushes my long, dark hair out of His way and repeats the biting process a few times.

Meanwhile, His hands are free to explore my still-clothed body. One slips into the pocket of my robes and wraps around the object I keep there before pulling it out. I smile. The sliver knife He gave me for my last mission, I always have it with me. He smiles back. His other hand grasps His wand and waves it. My robes vanish from my body and reappear messily on the floor. My shirt joins that pile a second later.

The Dark Lord cuts the rope binding my right arm. He moves to sit down next to me and lies the arm across His lap, staring at it the way an artist would view a blank canvas. It isn't entirely blank though, I used to cut myself and those scars have only recently began to fade. Still, His will be deeper and I'll cut over whatever scars He leaves so they never fade. I want them as a reminder of this night: the first and hopefully not the last time my Lord and I share this intimacy.

He traces a line between my wrist and elbow a few times, only leaving faint red marks. Then, He makes several deep but seemingly random slashes along my forearm. I can't see the cuts He's making, but I feel the pain from them and whimper, trying hard to slide closer to Him.

"These aren't random, Bella," He corrects, twisting my arm so I can see the design: a thin scarlet snake crawling up my arm. I sigh in wonder. Now, with this design on my right and the Dark Mark on my left, He's marked both of my arms. I don't mind. He's welcome to mark any piece of my body that He wants to.

"I might do just that," He smirks, reading my mind. "You do belong to me after all."

"I'm yours," I agree.

He magically makes the rope retie itself and bind my right wrist again. He finds another use for the knife and cuts through the straps of my bra. His other hand slides behind my back to unhook and remove it. He attempts to cut through my skirt but grows impatient with that and finally decides to magically remove my remaining clothes.

I lie, naked, bound, and alarmingly vulnerable beneath Him. I'd resent this situation with anyone else, but with Him I love it. I smile suggestively. He nods and puts me under the Cruciatus Curse for the third time tonight. I want to tell Him this isn't what I was asking for._ It feels great, but..._

"I _know_ what you want, Bella," He assures me. "Be patient... scream for me."

I inhale as much oxygen as my lungs can hold and wait for a nearly unbearable wave of pain before I release it all. I repeat that process a few times and then I understand: my screams are arousing Him. I'm glad, because this tortue is a turn-on for me as well.

Gritting my teeth against the pain but still smiling, I manage to beg, "My lord, please! Please, _more_!"

"_Interesting_, Bella," He comments, a second before obliging. "Most people would be begging me for death at this point and here you are begging me for even more pain... Such a beautiful little masochist you are."

I nod then shut my eyes as the pain intensifies. I'm not really a masochist. I proved that theory by having Rodolphus cast this curse on me, I hated every second of that pain and he was even going easy on me, terrified of hurting me even when he was convinced I loved it. I only enjoy being on the receiving end of the Cruciatus when it's my Lord who casts it. I think that's because I love Him. _Love hurts, apparently..._

I'm so distracted by the pain, I don't know how to open my eyes again and I don't want to. I scream and scream and I hope He'll be ready soon. Because this feels incredible and I don't want to finish before He even begins with me. I pause my screaming long enough to gasp out my desperate request. I let out a series of short and shrill screams and-

He enters me so suddenly I actually cry out in shock and pain. The Cruciatus stops instantly to be replaced by an all new dark pleasure. My eyes snap open to take in the image of His naked snakelike perfection. _Wow!_ I hadn't noticed Him undressing or climbing back on top of me because of the mind-numbing pain.

I struggle against the ropes, not because I want to escape them, but because I want to be closer to Him. He smirks evilly as the ropes constrict, holding me even tighter and burning my skin. I smile and arch my back the best I can against the restraints.

He whispers His real name in my ear and I scream it for Him, more and more fervently with every move He makes.

"Bella," He says. "You're special." The ropes vanish. I moan my thankfulness and throw my arms around Him at the same time He sinks His teeth into my neck.

_Oh! I thought the Cruciatus was the greatest pleasure He'd ever allow me, I was wrong_! I'm actually crying now, for every discernible reason. I twist my legs around His waist and I scream with every possible emotion.

"Bella!"

_Damn you, Rodolphus. Let me sleep! I _know_ it's a dream, let me finish it! _

I fight against waking up with all the power of my subconscious and all the energy I have but it isn't enough. I glare at my boyfriend and snarl, "What?"

"You were screaming."

"I don't care," I growl. "If you wake me up again tonight, I'll castrate you!"

His eyes widen with his usual lovesick fear and he nods obediently.

"Bella?" He asks, warily after a few seconds. "What were you dreaming about?"

"Not you," I assure him. "There's no point in fantasizing about what you already own." Rodolphus is one of my favorite toys, but I'm not in the mood to deal with his neediness right now. He wisely accepts my answer and lets me try to go back to sleep.

I've had several fantasies like that one. But this most recently revised version is at least remotely possible. I've tried to imagine my Lord kissing me, caressing me, and making love to me. Those times, I always wake up laughing at my boldly ridiculous imagination. What I can realistically imagine is Him torturing me with passion, tying me down, cutting me, and taking me so violently that I might beg Him to stop if I wasn't too busy begging Him to never stop. And I can imagine loving all of that.

_Where was I? I was screaming His name... what was it? I knew it in the dream! _Maybe I should leave that part out. He'd never tell me that no much I mean to Him.

I sigh and attempt to resume dreaming of the impossible pleasure I'll never know.


End file.
